Reminiscing about the good ol' days when I was in school has recently become my favourite past time. I LOVEEEEEEEEEEEEED my school...I have never once complained abt going to school....Life was so uncomplicated then...No major worries...As long as u did ur homework..and studied during exam time..more than enough...SIGH.....
Our Indian Educational System is such that it provides umpteen opportunities for teachers to showcase their talent (or lack of)...Now we've all heard of stories about teachers with the comical one liners.."Open the windows, let the atmosphere in" or "I have a daughter, she is a girl" or "all of you please assemble and form a straight circle "...
And if you were one of those privleged few who went to MY school, trust me you'd be in for a treat :) Classics like:
1. saree (sorry) yum venam blouse um venam !!!
2. u can call me anything behind my back but not to my face
3. if u write like theese u vil not get full marks..only full moon marks..
4. wife um, life um, knife madhri..careful a illatti cut pannidum...
5. All outstanding students come inside the class
6. This is maxima and minima.....not like your muniamma
7. see ma...if a kostin is asked "who is the first lady prime minishter of india" instead of indira gandhi u write......rajiv gandhi....andd say....gandhi is correct...half answer is correct so give me half a mark na...is it possible you say....."
Dam....I'd give an arm and a leg to go back to school!!!! :(
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Ambujam Maami
Every Iyengar Family will have an Ambujam Maami (synonomous with Ambi) tucked away in their family...more often than not she's always the next door neighbour...
There's even a popular song based on her..."Pakath aathu ambuja tha paathela...Ava aathukaara konjarde kaettaila". :)))
So..we had this bhajan session at my place this evening...a group of 12 - 14 iyengar maamis (i think i should call them pattis..cos the avg age was around 55) decended upon our place..complete with pattu sari and matchin jewellery...they all were semi-professional carnatic singers..who all share the common sentiment that given a chance they would all do a better job in the kutcheri season ...
So after singing for abt an hour..they were really good..i suitably impressed them all by putting thaalam for all their bhajans and singing along for a couple of songs...tiffin came...each one claimed they were diabetic, high BP, low BP..but all vettified on the keerai vadai, mundri pakoda, barfi and badam kheer we gave... :)
I had the wonderful opportunity to drop these ambujams back home..and the topic of discussion in the car was which airline had how much luggage quota for passengers flying to US :))))))) each one was more well versed than the other with complete knowledge on the various sectors, time of landing, how best to deal with jet lag..and more importantly..the priority item of things to carry :) items which topped the list included rice cooker, appalam, bakshanam and of course various thokus, podis and ooduvathi... :)))
They were sufficiently impressed with my driving skills and I made sure not to drive aggressively like I always do and swear at every dickhead auto / bike guy who cut me..Instead I borrowed one of my colleague's lines and exclaimed "Traffic romba shadai ya irruku" :)))))))))))) I could not be more iyengar at that moment :)))
I was sure I got their vote when I passed statements like "Onga AAN engai irruku" and "Kavalai padaathengo..yennaku onnu shramam illai"...I was also quizzed on my culinary skills and since my mother had already fulfilled her duty by teaching me "iyengar thalligai"..i could stand my ground.... :)
All the Ambujams blessed me with "Jamminu oru Maapillai varruvan" dialogues. :)
I can only imagine the day I too will become one Ambujam Maami. GOD HELP US ALL :)))
There's even a popular song based on her..."Pakath aathu ambuja tha paathela...Ava aathukaara konjarde kaettaila". :)))
So..we had this bhajan session at my place this evening...a group of 12 - 14 iyengar maamis (i think i should call them pattis..cos the avg age was around 55) decended upon our place..complete with pattu sari and matchin jewellery...they all were semi-professional carnatic singers..who all share the common sentiment that given a chance they would all do a better job in the kutcheri season ...
So after singing for abt an hour..they were really good..i suitably impressed them all by putting thaalam for all their bhajans and singing along for a couple of songs...tiffin came...each one claimed they were diabetic, high BP, low BP..but all vettified on the keerai vadai, mundri pakoda, barfi and badam kheer we gave... :)
I had the wonderful opportunity to drop these ambujams back home..and the topic of discussion in the car was which airline had how much luggage quota for passengers flying to US :))))))) each one was more well versed than the other with complete knowledge on the various sectors, time of landing, how best to deal with jet lag..and more importantly..the priority item of things to carry :) items which topped the list included rice cooker, appalam, bakshanam and of course various thokus, podis and ooduvathi... :)))
They were sufficiently impressed with my driving skills and I made sure not to drive aggressively like I always do and swear at every dickhead auto / bike guy who cut me..Instead I borrowed one of my colleague's lines and exclaimed "Traffic romba shadai ya irruku" :)))))))))))) I could not be more iyengar at that moment :)))
I was sure I got their vote when I passed statements like "Onga AAN engai irruku" and "Kavalai padaathengo..yennaku onnu shramam illai"...I was also quizzed on my culinary skills and since my mother had already fulfilled her duty by teaching me "iyengar thalligai"..i could stand my ground.... :)
All the Ambujams blessed me with "Jamminu oru Maapillai varruvan" dialogues. :)
I can only imagine the day I too will become one Ambujam Maami. GOD HELP US ALL :)))
Sunday, June 15, 2008
tv critique
When I;m home..I rarely watch a lot of tv..not out of choice..but more out of lack of opportunity..we have 2 TVs at home..one in my parent's bedroom and the other in my patti;s room...they all sleep by 10:00 which automatically rules out late night TV for me and when they are awake...they pull rank / seniority on me and watch whatever they want to..
Most times I can arm twist my appa into watchin wat I want to watch...but that entirely depends on his mood..and on most days...it ain;t that good...But now with patts gone for abt a month...I have the TV alllllllllllll to myself...YIPPEEEEEEEE :)
Apart from all the Star World Shows..I'm now thoroughly addicted to these 2 shows:
1) Cashmere Mafia - 11:00PM, AXN - I call it "Poor Man's Sex and the City"..Well it's true...U have 4 women in the city....all smart..all successful...all very fashionable with big hair and makeup and over the top clothes (its amazin what people will wear in the name of fashion) and they ofcourse ALL have torrid love / sex lives...and to make it more interestin..one's a lesbian..and she keeps swingin from one show to another... :) Watch it...it's def good time pass..for the ladies..they have tons of hot men on the show..and if ur into the fashion crap...well..there's plenty of that..and for the men...they really are 4 hot women..and did i mention one's a lesbian.. :)
2) Splitsvilla - All the time, MTV - India's very own teenage reality show...I haven't made up my mind as to whether I love the show or hate the show.....let's see..we have a bunch of 18 - 21 year olds (20 of them to be precise)...and 2 guys...one who's 21 and the other who is 23...both are ex-roadies..the theme of the show is "Love is War"...20 women battle it out (literally) for the attention and "love" of these 2 guys...whats in it for them..well of-course..apart from the "perfect relationship"..they get some 5L as prize money and the chance to host one of MTV's shows....As predicted..the women are all bitchy as hell...all wear slutty clothes (the kind I KNOW even I would wear if I was thin ;) and they all "think" they have attitude...trouble is...they DONT....most cant even speak good english to save their lives...on the first show..both the guys were like "we came to splitsvilla to find true love" WHAT THE FUCK>...the dude's are semi cute..at least one is..vishal..he has cute dimples..but has a god awful accent...and the other varun is tooo skinny....
My only question is..WHAT SORT OF WOMEN SIGN UP FOR THESE SHOWS??? don't they have grandparents at home who would die of shame if they saw their gchildren parade around in no clothes, flirting on camera, plotting and bitchin every girl out..just for a guy??? the women who don't flirt the most..or dont dress the most sexily are publically dumped...how degrading is that??i cannot for the life of me figure out why women would wanna put themselves through such humiliation....
Entertainment..it sure is...and MTV can be sure..they have one faithful viewer who tunes in just to watch all the drama... :)
Most times I can arm twist my appa into watchin wat I want to watch...but that entirely depends on his mood..and on most days...it ain;t that good...But now with patts gone for abt a month...I have the TV alllllllllllll to myself...YIPPEEEEEEEE :)
Apart from all the Star World Shows..I'm now thoroughly addicted to these 2 shows:
1) Cashmere Mafia - 11:00PM, AXN - I call it "Poor Man's Sex and the City"..Well it's true...U have 4 women in the city....all smart..all successful...all very fashionable with big hair and makeup and over the top clothes (its amazin what people will wear in the name of fashion) and they ofcourse ALL have torrid love / sex lives...and to make it more interestin..one's a lesbian..and she keeps swingin from one show to another... :) Watch it...it's def good time pass..for the ladies..they have tons of hot men on the show..and if ur into the fashion crap...well..there's plenty of that..and for the men...they really are 4 hot women..and did i mention one's a lesbian.. :)
2) Splitsvilla - All the time, MTV - India's very own teenage reality show...I haven't made up my mind as to whether I love the show or hate the show.....let's see..we have a bunch of 18 - 21 year olds (20 of them to be precise)...and 2 guys...one who's 21 and the other who is 23...both are ex-roadies..the theme of the show is "Love is War"...20 women battle it out (literally) for the attention and "love" of these 2 guys...whats in it for them..well of-course..apart from the "perfect relationship"..they get some 5L as prize money and the chance to host one of MTV's shows....As predicted..the women are all bitchy as hell...all wear slutty clothes (the kind I KNOW even I would wear if I was thin ;) and they all "think" they have attitude...trouble is...they DONT....most cant even speak good english to save their lives...on the first show..both the guys were like "we came to splitsvilla to find true love" WHAT THE FUCK>...the dude's are semi cute..at least one is..vishal..he has cute dimples..but has a god awful accent...and the other varun is tooo skinny....
My only question is..WHAT SORT OF WOMEN SIGN UP FOR THESE SHOWS??? don't they have grandparents at home who would die of shame if they saw their gchildren parade around in no clothes, flirting on camera, plotting and bitchin every girl out..just for a guy??? the women who don't flirt the most..or dont dress the most sexily are publically dumped...how degrading is that??i cannot for the life of me figure out why women would wanna put themselves through such humiliation....
Entertainment..it sure is...and MTV can be sure..they have one faithful viewer who tunes in just to watch all the drama... :)
Thursday, June 12, 2008
The Month That was...
A quick background about my last month or so and I'll jump right into the highlights....Have been shuttling up and down to Bangalore on account of this giant sized project we are doing for a biggggggggg infra company here.. During the week in Blore and come home for weekends...
1) Getting to Blore is a fuckin bitch now...wat with the new airport in Devanahalli now...it takes me 2.5 hours to get from the airport to my office. Considerin the actual flight time is only 30minutes....its a royal pain in the ass!!!! And with Shatabdi in full demand now...Enduring the traffic is the only option I have.
2) All is not lost though..Im earnin tons of miles...well..ok maybe not...its only 350 odd kms....but multiply that by 2 (round trip) and one trip a week...i guess im good.
3) This one is my favourite...On one of the flights I took comin in to Blore..the flight was manned by ALL GUYS!!!! Yayyyyyyy...Each one was hotter than the other...sighhh..Now that's wat i call Eye-Candy....A delight to the eyes early in the mornin..unlike the regular female air hostesses who wear like a ton of make up and some of them actually look a bit scary with so much eye-shadow...
So I cheaply kept calling them one after the other on some lame excuse or the other......First I needed water..then I needed the paper..Then I needed a magazine... you get the drift :)
4)The place where they have put me up is really nice..Its a service appartment in a nice posh locality in Indranagar...and the place serves some sexed out breakfast... :)
5) Actual work sucks - We start really early like 8in the morn..and work till like 12in the night...and we're workin non-stop inbetween...often without dinner..and a hungry and stressed me I can tell u is definetly not a happy me! This place is full of politics also...the dirty kind..and as consultants we're always getting sucked into... :(
6)Oooooh..one aspect of work which I should mention...So I was assigned to this one group within the company..the toughest group..Up until now they had been giving us a lot of trouble nad were generally acting all asshole like...and to be honest I was very surprised that I was given tat particular group to handle..since I was brought into the project at a fairly late stage and some of my colleagues had been on the project from the start..and a few of them were fairly senior to me too...so I was feelin all self important and my ego was all raised. When I went for my first meeting with the group...I was introduced as the consultant from Chennai brought into help out on the project...The guy got full excited..."You're from Chennai Huh???Very Good Very Good..You're Tamilian huh??Very Good Very Good". The meeting went very well...and they gave us all what we were sitting on their ass for like a month with no issues...So I went back to office feeling even more self-important and generally happy on wat a great job I'd done..I told my colleagues that all work over..and that they were very excited I was Tamilian....My boss's immediate reply was "Why the hell do u think we sent u!!!!!"
Damn...Ego and all came crashing.... :(
7)Last week I was sooo sick of work and just needed a break...Since the whole team was working very hard...there was no way in hell I had the guts to say..boss I;m done..cant take this shit no more..im leaving....yeah..im chicken like that..so i came up with this elaborate lie...told my boss my granny who lives in blore is super pissed with me cos I;ve been up and down to blore sooo many times and not once I;d visited her...she creating a big ruckus and had called my dad and complained to him..and that my mom and dad are super pissed with me cos I'm putting work over family...okay..not the best lie...but my brain was fried already....this was the most creative I could get...who's complainin..it worked....I left at 9:30pm...That was early for me,,,Asked the auto guy to drive like a mad man...reahced hotel.got dressed up and proceeded to party. :)woooooooo hooooo....
8)I;ve had a chance to meet up with my friends every week and go partyin..I dont party in Madras too much..Reason being...I invariably run into someone my brother/father/mother knows..and its always promptly reported back to them..Not that my parents dont mind me parting once in a while..But they dont like it when ppl come and tell me they spotted me here at 11in the night...so I prefer not to go...
Bangalore - I have no suxh qualms..No one knows me or my family..and I can drink and party my ass off..Went to some awesome places here though the 11:30PM rule here sucks...
9)Yesterday we had a working lunch with the client...A medium size board room filled with abt 20 fifty plus yr old men ..They served us idli and vadai for lunch..wat the fuck..who serves idli vadai for lunch..pretty soon...the board room was smelling like shatabdi train...also..vadai tends to give gas...paavam....one of the mamas sittin in front of me couldnt deal with it and actually lifted one of his butt cheeks and proceeded to let a couple rip....anyone who knows me can vouch I cannot control my laughter..and I can never not laugh at kusus..So I politely excused myself from the meeting..went to the loo and laughed my ass off!
10)I now catch a lot of my US friends online since Ive been keepin crazy hours...I was chattin with one of my good friends and I was ranting and raving on abt how much I hate this assignment...and how I feel like quitting and how we hardly get food and that I;m sooo hungry...generaly wallowing in self pity..and as friends...my only expectation from you is to shut up and listen to me rant and rave...instead I was given advice on how I should sit in the corner..centre myself and take deep calming breaths..and that I should eat somethin which gives me strength like nuts or energy bars...what the fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I think the air in US makes them deranged and causes them to say things that would warrant them getting beaten up in India had they said them here...As Indians we dont eat nuts to give strength..we eat kadalai or put kadalai..and if someone saw me sitting in the corner and take deep calm breaths..they'd think im standing in the corner to fart!!!!
Cant think of anythin else interestin...or worthwhile mentioning...So will end here by sayin that...Though I bitch and cuss every single day abt Blore, abt the traffic abt my client and my work..I;m secretly enjoying every second of it..though I dont want it to last much longer...
1) Getting to Blore is a fuckin bitch now...wat with the new airport in Devanahalli now...it takes me 2.5 hours to get from the airport to my office. Considerin the actual flight time is only 30minutes....its a royal pain in the ass!!!! And with Shatabdi in full demand now...Enduring the traffic is the only option I have.
2) All is not lost though..Im earnin tons of miles...well..ok maybe not...its only 350 odd kms....but multiply that by 2 (round trip) and one trip a week...i guess im good.
3) This one is my favourite...On one of the flights I took comin in to Blore..the flight was manned by ALL GUYS!!!! Yayyyyyyy...Each one was hotter than the other...sighhh..Now that's wat i call Eye-Candy....A delight to the eyes early in the mornin..unlike the regular female air hostesses who wear like a ton of make up and some of them actually look a bit scary with so much eye-shadow...
So I cheaply kept calling them one after the other on some lame excuse or the other......First I needed water..then I needed the paper..Then I needed a magazine... you get the drift :)
4)The place where they have put me up is really nice..Its a service appartment in a nice posh locality in Indranagar...and the place serves some sexed out breakfast... :)
5) Actual work sucks - We start really early like 8in the morn..and work till like 12in the night...and we're workin non-stop inbetween...often without dinner..and a hungry and stressed me I can tell u is definetly not a happy me! This place is full of politics also...the dirty kind..and as consultants we're always getting sucked into... :(
6)Oooooh..one aspect of work which I should mention...So I was assigned to this one group within the company..the toughest group..Up until now they had been giving us a lot of trouble nad were generally acting all asshole like...and to be honest I was very surprised that I was given tat particular group to handle..since I was brought into the project at a fairly late stage and some of my colleagues had been on the project from the start..and a few of them were fairly senior to me too...so I was feelin all self important and my ego was all raised. When I went for my first meeting with the group...I was introduced as the consultant from Chennai brought into help out on the project...The guy got full excited..."You're from Chennai Huh???Very Good Very Good..You're Tamilian huh??Very Good Very Good". The meeting went very well...and they gave us all what we were sitting on their ass for like a month with no issues...So I went back to office feeling even more self-important and generally happy on wat a great job I'd done..I told my colleagues that all work over..and that they were very excited I was Tamilian....My boss's immediate reply was "Why the hell do u think we sent u!!!!!"
Damn...Ego and all came crashing.... :(
7)Last week I was sooo sick of work and just needed a break...Since the whole team was working very hard...there was no way in hell I had the guts to say..boss I;m done..cant take this shit no more..im leaving....yeah..im chicken like that..so i came up with this elaborate lie...told my boss my granny who lives in blore is super pissed with me cos I;ve been up and down to blore sooo many times and not once I;d visited her...she creating a big ruckus and had called my dad and complained to him..and that my mom and dad are super pissed with me cos I'm putting work over family...okay..not the best lie...but my brain was fried already....this was the most creative I could get...who's complainin..it worked....I left at 9:30pm...That was early for me,,,Asked the auto guy to drive like a mad man...reahced hotel.got dressed up and proceeded to party. :)woooooooo hooooo....
8)I;ve had a chance to meet up with my friends every week and go partyin..I dont party in Madras too much..Reason being...I invariably run into someone my brother/father/mother knows..and its always promptly reported back to them..Not that my parents dont mind me parting once in a while..But they dont like it when ppl come and tell me they spotted me here at 11in the night...so I prefer not to go...
Bangalore - I have no suxh qualms..No one knows me or my family..and I can drink and party my ass off..Went to some awesome places here though the 11:30PM rule here sucks...
9)Yesterday we had a working lunch with the client...A medium size board room filled with abt 20 fifty plus yr old men ..They served us idli and vadai for lunch..wat the fuck..who serves idli vadai for lunch..pretty soon...the board room was smelling like shatabdi train...also..vadai tends to give gas...paavam....one of the mamas sittin in front of me couldnt deal with it and actually lifted one of his butt cheeks and proceeded to let a couple rip....anyone who knows me can vouch I cannot control my laughter..and I can never not laugh at kusus..So I politely excused myself from the meeting..went to the loo and laughed my ass off!
10)I now catch a lot of my US friends online since Ive been keepin crazy hours...I was chattin with one of my good friends and I was ranting and raving on abt how much I hate this assignment...and how I feel like quitting and how we hardly get food and that I;m sooo hungry...generaly wallowing in self pity..and as friends...my only expectation from you is to shut up and listen to me rant and rave...instead I was given advice on how I should sit in the corner..centre myself and take deep calming breaths..and that I should eat somethin which gives me strength like nuts or energy bars...what the fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I think the air in US makes them deranged and causes them to say things that would warrant them getting beaten up in India had they said them here...As Indians we dont eat nuts to give strength..we eat kadalai or put kadalai..and if someone saw me sitting in the corner and take deep calm breaths..they'd think im standing in the corner to fart!!!!
Cant think of anythin else interestin...or worthwhile mentioning...So will end here by sayin that...Though I bitch and cuss every single day abt Blore, abt the traffic abt my client and my work..I;m secretly enjoying every second of it..though I dont want it to last much longer...
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